Blogging through the #Gospels: John 21

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading:  John 21


Scripture:  John 21: 15 - 17



15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah,[b] do you love Me more than these?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”
16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah,[c] do you love Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah,[d] do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.


Observations:


Three times Peter denied Jesus after he had been taken away.
Here, Jesus restores Peter, by giving him three chances to proclaim his love.  After each time, Jesus gently commands Peter to "feed my sheep" and "tend my lambs."

Not only has Jesus given Peter the chance to make up for denying Jesus, He has given him a new mission.

Application:


After a betrayal like that, it would be reasonable to expect that the individual would no longer be trusted with important ministry work.  It would be reasonable for human nature, but not our gracious, redeeming Savior!

I need to remember that life has a learning curve.
Discipleship is a lifelong process.
People (including (especially) me) make mistakes as we learn to follow Jesus.

Human nature is to write off anyone that betrays us.
Build up walls to protect us from further hurt.

Jesus' nature was to open His arms wide, and risk the hurt again, and again.
He loves us too much to give up on us in the process of learning.


Prayer:


Lord,
Thank you so much for loving us with such a complete, patient and overwhelming love.
Help me to remember that we are all  in progress.

With complete gratitude,
Amen

Blogging through the Gospels: John 20

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading:   John 20

Scripture:  John 20 : 19

19 Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

Observations:


The disciples were all together, and the doors were shut up tight.
They were hiding from the Jews.

And then, all of a sudden, Jesus is there.
He either walked through the walls, or he simply appeared.

Application:


One of my favorite parts of Psalm 139 talks about the Omni-presence of our loving Father.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.


God is present everywhere.

In John 20:19, Jesus is taking it up a notch.
There is no place that He cannot reach.
There is no boundary too great, no barricade too difficult.

Our Jesus is with us.

Prayer:


Dear Lord,

Thank you for the reminder that everything on this Earth,  everything in this life, is just temporary.

There is no place so far that you cannot reach.
There is no situation so dire that you cannot give comfort.

I am not alone.

Thank you, Lord!
Amen

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 19

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading: John 19

Scripture:  John 19: 9-10

10 Then Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?”
11 Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”

Observations: 


Pilate can feel that Jesus has done no wrong.
More than that, he can sense that there is something special, something powerful about Him.  It certainly is not because of His attitude or demeanor.  Jesus, in complete humility, accepts the charges and interrogations without jumping to his own defense.

Pilate is trying desperately to find something that can prove Jesus' innocence, and silence the chief priests once and for all.

Jesus' response: “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above..."
is something that is ringing in my heart and mind.

It brings to mind Job. Daniel in the lion's den.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago in the fiery furnace. Stephen, martyred for the Gospel.

Our lives our in our Father's hand.  He has the power to deliver. He has the power to hold us during the storm.

We do not always understand the circumstances. We don't know the reason for the losses that we experience.  But we do know that our God sees the whole picture.

Application:


There are no situations in this life that out of the control of my Father.

While I don't at this time understand why He allowed certain circumstances (for example: the ectopic pregnancy) in our lives, I believe that there was a reason.

And it's not that I don't understand why I was the one to suffer.  I am so happy to be able to help other women who have experienced a similar loss.  I am grateful that I can empathize.  But I can't understand how miscarriages are part of God's perfect design.  Are they connected to the Fall somehow?  I may never know this side of Heaven. And when I am on the other side, I doubt that I am going to care, or be consumed by this.

The bottom line?
My God is Faithful.
My God is Trustworthy.
My God is everything that I could possibly need.

In every situation, I need to remember that if God is not delivering me out of it, then there must be a purpose. And even while persecution looms on all sides, My God is faithful, and has a Plan.

This world is not my home.

Prayer:


Father,
Thank you for the reminder that all things are seen by you. Nothing is hidden.
Prepare me for the trials of the future, and help me to trust You completely.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 18

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading: John 18

Scripture:  The very last part of  John 18:37

37 Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then?”
Jesus answered, “You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.”

Observations:


Everyone who is of the Truth hears His voice.

It is just remarkable, and overwhelming, that I hear the voice of the God of the Universe.
And that all humanity, throughout all of the World, has the same opportunity.
There is no threshhold -- no maximum capacity.
He is an intimate, personal, involved God for every single person who ever was, is, and ever will be.

Application:


On a personal level:
I need to make sure that nothing in my life is preventing me from hearing His voice.
I need to actively be choosing Him above all.

On a broader level:
I need to show the Love that I have been given to everyone that I encounter.

I need to remember that the people I interact with do not see my internal struggle, and will not be able to separate my actions done in my flesh from my actions done in the spirit.

I need to remember that my life might be the only Bible that some ever read.




Prayer:


Help me to live my faith out loud.
Let the peace that I feel in my heart, because of You, shine out and soothe others,
Let my life carry the fragrance of You.


Thank you for speaking to me, for the privilege of hearing Your voice.


Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 17

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading: John 17

Scripture:  John 17:15


15 I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.


Observations:
In this part of the prayer, Jesus is praying for all of the believers that came to faith during His life on Earth.  In the next section, He prays for all people who will ever come to faith in Him!

Jesus is praying for protection for the believers from the evil one.
And we know that when Jesus prays for something, we should probably take note of it.

We have a purpose here on Earth.  Unfortunately, believing in the One is not an immediate ticket up to heaven.  There is work to be done.  Matthew 9: 37 tells us:  “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

So we have work to do. And can we expect smooth sailing while we are doing what needs to be done?
No.

I Peter 5:8 tells us that:  (o)ur enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

So we are to live out the lives we have been given, saved by grace, and spread love and hope to the world.  But, even knowing that we have an enemy prowling around us, we take comfort in the fact that the Savior of the world is praying for us.


Application:


Every couple of years I go through a time where I have to actively remind myself that it is not about me.
My quality of life, and my level of comfort are not what matter in the long run.  In Heaven, after my life is over, are they going to care what I had a complete Willow Tree Nativity set, or matching couches in our living room?  Will my gadgets impress?

No.
My accounts will only detail what I did to advance His Kingdom while I was here on Earth.

The good news is that the God who created me has not created a "spiritual checklist" to which we all must adhere.  If my matching couches help me to invite people into my home, and share the love of my Savior, the means do not diminish the result.  If my Willow Tree Nativity set sparks a conversation about the true meaning of Christmas, or my gadgets allow me to show off different ways one can have access to the Word, the means to not diminish the result.

So -- applying all of this to my life:

Jesus is praying for me,  for protection from the evil one.
I am to continue on my current course, living my life to share the love that I have been given.
Remember that my life has a purpose that has nothing to do with my level of comfort.
Keep my eyes focused on You, and be alert at all times.

Prayer:


Lord,
Help me to stay focused on the plan.
I am so self-centered. (So human.)
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to live my life for You.
Please don't give up on me.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 15 - True Vine, True Home

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading:  John 15

Scripture: 





5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.


Observations:


Verse 5 -
The branches apart from the vine wither and die.  The vine is what gives the life, the sustaining nutrients.
It is a very vivid, memorable picture, that helps us to remember just how closely we have to be connected to our Savior.

Verse 19 -
When we become the Savior's, we are no longer of this World. Our true home is in Heaven.  We are existing here, on this Earth, but the people of the Earth are not our brothers and sisters.  Our lineage has changed.  And the world can sense the difference, and the world does not like the One who will call us home.


Application:

Verse 5 -
In my own strength, everything I do vanishes. Nothing will benefit the Kingdom of God. Nothing will last.  In my own strength it is all meaningless, all vanity.

In Him, truly resting, and abiding in Him, everything from the smallest encounter in the grocery store to the life changing decisions on Sunday morning benefits the Kingdom of God.

Verse 19 -
I do not need to worry about my standing in the community. I need to make sure that I am connected to the Vine.  If the world hates me, the world hates me.  If I am in the Vine, every moment will still be used for His Kingdom, no matter what the rest of the world thinks. The ones that being called will be called.

The praise of men means NOTHING.
And, therefore, the hatred of the same men means NOTHING.


Prayer:


Thank you, Lord,
I needed the reminder today.
Remain in You-- and all else will fade into the background.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 13 - Humility

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading:  John 13

Scripture:  John 13: 14 - 15

14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.


Observations:


I love that Peter is one of the disciples.
We see the other disciples acting petty at times, but never with the flair of Peter.

His pride needed to be broken. Seriously broken- or he would never be any use to Jesus.  He was full of confidence in his own ability to be faithful, and to follow.

Humility:  seeing ourselves as we truly are, in comparison to the infinite glory of Christ.

Jesus chose the most shocking example of servitude to demonstrate His point.
When guests arrived at a home, the master of the house would offer water, to wash the dust off of the traveler's feet.  Sometimes a servant would be on hand to administer the task.

But never did the master of the house perform the task himself.


8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”
Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”
9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”


While I believe that Peter's reaction is more about Jesus lowering Himself, and Peter not feeling worthy to have His Lord performing such a base task, the root is still pride.

When Jesus answers Him, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me," Peter realizes his mistake and with characteristic zeal offers his whole body to be washed.  Jesus assured that only the feet were getting washed that day.

After He had finished the task, He explained that He had given them the standard. Serve one another.  In reaching hearts for the Lord, there are no jobs, no tasks that are "below" them.  The true measure of a man is not his list of accomplishments, but his heart and willingness to serve.

Application:


Oh there are so many places that I need to hear and apply this lesson.

In my home: I need to serve my family by making every effort to keep our home clean.
In my classroom:  I need to serve my students by being more organized, and therefore more efficient.
In my heart: I need to remember my definition of humility.

Humility:  seeing ourselves as we truly are, in comparison to the infinite glory of Christ.

Prayer:


Lord,

This reminder is needed.
Even though it stings.
(But you knew that already.)

Thank you for your kind rebuke.
Help me.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 12- No one is beyond redemption.

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading:  John 12

Scripture:  John 12: 4-6

4 But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, 5 “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” 6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.

Observations:


Judas is called a thief by John.  For him it was hindsight.  After the betrayal it all made sense.

But Jesus knew exactly who Judas was.
Think about his chosen 12.  He had a tax collector, someone that he knew was a thief, and would eventually betray him.  Many of them were simple fishermen.

Application:


I find it so comforting that Jesus used ordinary people in his ministry.

And I find it so convicting that he deliberately chose  the people that everyone else counted as beyond significance, beyond redemption.

Help me, Lord, to see people with your eyes, and not my own.

Prayer:


Lord,
You are so overwhelming.
Give me patience with my sons today.
Give me the eyes to see their hearts in the middle of the struggles.

Help me remember the truths that you showed me today when I encounter people.  No one is beyond redemption.


Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: True Compassion. John 11

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading:   John 11

Scripture:


 While I spent a good deal of time researching verse 51 -- Caiaphas "prophesying," and all of that, it was not the verse that spoke to me again today, as nearly every time I read this chapter.

John 11: 35

Jesus wept.


Observations:


Mary and Martha are like sisters to Jesus.
Lazarus was like a brother.
Yet, he stayed away two more days after receiving the word that Lazarus ill.
By the time He and his disciples actually arrived back in Judea, Lazarus had indeed passed away, and had been in the tomb four days.

Separately the sisters run to Him, mourning and crying out that if He had been there, Lazarus would still be alive.

Even knowing what He was about to do -- even though He knew that in moments the tears of mourning would become tears of happiness, His heart still moved for the pain of His people.

Application:

When we lost our second child in the early stages of pregnancy, through the worst sequence of events that I could have ever imagined, I felt Him.  I prayed for Him to spare my child.  I prayed for everything to miraculously be set right.  I wept. Oh how I wept.   And when the dust settled after the words "ectopic pregnancy" were introduced, I could feel Jesus sustaining me.  And when the tears came again, I knew that He was weeping with me, for my grief, wishing that He could take it from me.

When a loved one suffers from cancer- Jesus is there.

When a baby is a victim of SIDS - Jesus is there.

When natural disasters strike, and all is lost - Jesus is there.

We can understand being comforted in situations beyond our control.
But when we are the reason for the difficulties we are facing?

As human beings with "free will," we often get into situations that are our own fault.
And since we have a Just and Holy God, we have to deal with the consequences of our sin.  And sometimes it gets really painful.

I John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and purify us from unrighteousness.

And Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no longer any condemnation from sin that has been forgiven.

But Jesus is more than just a forgiver of sins.
He is the sympathetic friend, the compassionate listener.
Even forgiven, we still have to live in and dwell in the circumstances we created by our sin.

He can wipe the slate clean, but it is not a magical reset button that affects everything around us.  And since He can't take it all away, He weeps with us.

Oh how blessed we are!
Thank you, oh my Father - for giving us your Son!

Prayer:


Lord,
Thank you for the reminders of how you carry us through the storm.

You are so much more than we deserve.
I am in awe.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 10

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading:  John 10

I could barely keep my eyes open when I first got downstairs.
We had a rough night with the 15 month old. Up for a couple of hours.... twice.

And then, armed with my coffee in one hand, and Mom's Toolbox on the screen in front of me, I saw that the reading today was John 10!

This is my favorite chapter of the whole Bible!
So, I read it a few times, savoring the messages of love, protection, and ownership.
And then I read it again, with ears to listen and a heart to heart to hear what the Lord has for me today.




Scripture: John 10:16


16 And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.



Observations:


He came for all who would believe.

Application:


When I read through this verse, I sensed the quiet assurance that  He meant this one for me this morning.
It was another confirmation of the work He is preparing us for.

There are people in this community that are lost....  He has brought us here for them.  And Jesus will include them, and be their Shepherd as well.

Prayer:

Thank you, Lord -
for the subtle, yet definite confirmation that we are here because You have brought us here, and that the work to be done has been ordained by You.  In Your time  (not ours), You will guide us, and lead us in the path that You have chosen.

Help us to not get ahead of you.
Help us to wait.


And in the mean time....
We will pray.

Thank you, Lord.
Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 9

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading:  John 9

Scripture:  John 9: 30 - 33

30 The man answered and said to them, “Why, this is a marvelous thing, that you do not know where He is from; yet He has opened my eyes! 31 Now we know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him. 32 Since the world began it has been unheard of that anyone opened the eyes of one who was born blind. 33 If this Man were not from God, He could do nothing.”


Observations:


The man was blind, and had been since birth.
His friends and neighbors, rather than embracing a miraculous healing,  a marvelous gift in the life of their friend, dragged him to the Pharisees because he had been healed on the Sabbath.
His own parents left him to face the Pharisees by himself, rather than admitting the truth and being permanently removed from fellowship.

But he knew.  It was no ordinary man that healed him.
He had felt power from God.


And even though he was not a disciple of Jesus yet, when the Pharisees derisively made that comment (verse 28), it seemed like a pretty good idea.

Application:



Help me not to dismiss things that are from You just because they are happening in ways that are different than I expect.

Help me not to assume that my knowledge of you, and my experiences, are the only ways that you would reveal Yourself.

Help me to recognize Your handiwork, in the mundane and the marvelous.

Prayer:


You are amazing.
How does your heart not explode from the love that you feel for everyone, and the sadness at the ones who are lost?

Lord, give me Your heart to see everyone that I encounter.

Help me to accept the miraculous as part of the every day.

Amen.

A Lesson on Waiting. Blogging through the #Gospels, John 7

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy from Mom's Toolbox.


Reading: John 7

Scripture:  John 7: 6-8

6 Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. 8 You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.”

Observations:

In the preceding verses, we learn that Jesus' brothers are goading him to go to the Festival of the Tabernacles in Judea.  They are taunting Him - "if your such a Big Man, then why aren't you seeking the fame and attention, and showing the world what you can do?"

Even His brothers didn't believe Him.

But He remained calm, and simply told them that there was a plan, and they were not privy to the details. He assured them that when His time came, He would go public.

The most important part of His ministry might just have been the waiting.


Application:


Oh wow.

These verses, these observations are exactly where we are right now.

Over the past two weeks, the Lord has been revealing little pieces of the ministry that He is going to do here.  He gave us the name of the future church.  He has put contacts in our life for these certain purposes.

And then there have been things that seemed like they were from God, but.... well- let's just say they were from the Lord, but not for the purposes that we thought.

Let's talk about waiting for a second.

Noah received the word to build an ark.  He then built the ark for 100 years before the redeeming work was done.

Abraham was given the promise of a son, and then waited for twenty five years --- long enough for a son to grow up and be an adult in the mean-time, before Isaac was born.

Jesus was born to Mary, and then waited thirty-three years before starting to reveal His ministry.

And then there were Randy and Meredith. We received the call less than a year ago. Yes, things are moving forward. Yes, we have a monthly prayer meeting with people that are invested in this church plant.  Yes, the Lord has blessed us with a home in  the town that he has called us.  Yes, the Lord is working (overtime, we sometimes think) in our hearts, minds and lives.

But -- the truth is, we don't have a clue what it means to wait. 

This is such new territory for both of us. Randy has experience in short-term missions, and I have no missions experience at all.

Short term missions are about planning, planning, planning, and then BOOM, you act and serve in a very short period of time.  There is a sense of urgency because of the short length of the visit.

Full-time or long-term missions are completely different.  Much of the work is laying a foundation.  Simply living your lives as a person who loves Jesus, and letting the people in the region see that you are trustworthy, honest, kind, compassionate, and most of all, loving.

There is a saying in education that I have heard many times, and it definitely applies here.

"Kids (people) don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Prayer:


Lord,
We have experienced the beautiful way that you reveal Truth to both of us before moving us forward.
Help us to continually seek confirmation, so that we do not do things out of your timeline.

We are grateful for the gentle rebuke. We are grateful that you care enough to put us back in our place.

Thank you so much for not giving up on us, and for stopping us before we went down the wrong path.

Help us to wait.  Teach us to listen with discernment.

And thank you. We are truly humbled.

Amen.

Blogging through Reality. I mean... the #Gospels. John 6.

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading: John 6

Scriptures:

John 6: 26 - 27A
26 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.

John 6:51
51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”


Observations:


The first verse:

John 6: 26 - 27A

26 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.

It is the day after the first miraculous feeding. Jesus and the disciples had managed to get to the other side of the lake without any of the thousands of people noticing.  They jump in the boats that are there, and cross the lake to find Him.

When they find Him, he calls them out.
"You are looking for me because you are hungry and know that I can feed you, when you SHOULD be looking for me because of the miracle that you witnessed. You know... that whole five loaves feed five thousand thing?   Wake up!  It's not about food!  And for crying out loud, it's NOT ABOUT YOUR STOMACH!!!"

The second verse:

John 6:51

51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

He is comparing Himself to manna from Heaven.

Manna came down every day, and they could only take enough for that day.
Jesus is our manna, and what we take in each day is only enough for each day.  To truly be feeding on Him, we need to be in the Word, daily,  meditating and feeding on the Truths, and the reality of our Savior.

But-- then the similarities stop.
God never claimed that manna would make those who ate it live forever!
But Jesus does claim that those who feed on Him will live forever.

Feeding on Jesus:
Meditating daily, hourly (even more frequently), on the acts of our Savior.
Savoring scripture, memorizing verses.
Surrendering completely to the will of our Father.
Fasting: feeding only on the Word instead of actual food.  (Experiencing the true meaning of Bread of Heaven and Living Water.)

Application:


Several years ago, when my oldest one was 18 months old, I took an online Bible study course about weight loss, called The Lord's Table.   It was truly amazing.  I grew in my faith and shrank in my clothing size.  I became a mentor for the course.  It was a wonderful time in my life.

Then my body started playing tricks on me, and I was convinced I was pregnant. So I stopped being as diligent about waiting for true hunger, and started snacking, and eating more than I needed.

I wasn't pregnant.  And I was also no longer in the Word as much as  I had been.

Then we tried for 6 months to get pregnant.
It worked.
But we lost that baby, through a heartbreaking sequence of events that involved making the most difficult a decision that a mother should ever have to make.  It ended with a surgery, removing my right fallopian tube and the child of my heart along with it.

And then, before I even had a period after the surgery, I became pregnant again, with my second son, whose name means gift of God, since he truly was a gift from God.

He is now 15 months old, and I am back in the Word, and have been, consistently, since some time in April.  And now it is time for me to get back on the discipline of my eating.

Food is for nourishment.
Not for emotional hunger.  Not for boredom.

The Word of God is my True Food.
My SOUL is what hungers-- not my physical body.

Today, my God is confirming what I have been hearing over the last couple of days.
It is a day for me to fast.
To choose my God, to make him my priority.

I think that I need to read A Hunger for God, by John Piper again.

Prayer:
Lord,
Help me.
I know that You will.  You are calling me to do this.  It is my turn to call on You for strength.
It is my turn to CHOOSE YOU over the food.

I have found a poem that I wrote about this very struggle, that I seem to always be wrestling with.
Letting the words of my heart from June 2008 cry out to You again.


Jesus or a donut

I wake up each morning,
open my Bible and
wait for the truth that will
sustain me through another day.
Whether it is a reminder from Solomon
that all under the sun in meaningless
and to put my hope in Christ,
or an urge to find balance
between work, family, and God,
I trust that these pearls or Truth
will take root in my heart and bear fruit.

So why,
after you brought me through the trial,
do I forget to cling to you,
do I forget to run to you?
I take a moment to rest,
and a moment to recover
and all of a sudden my hand is in the cookie jar.

Mindlessly eating,
mindlessly munching . . .
forsaking my Savior
in favor
of a donut.

Oh my heart cries
to realize that once again
I am putting my trust,
my hope,
and my worship
in a pastry.

I want to laugh because
it is so
ridiculous.
I want to cry for the nails
that pierced His side
because of my sin.

Again.

Forgive me, my God.
My actions are speaking much louder
than my words.
My heart,
who pledged allegiance,
and obedience,
has betrayed you.

I want to run to you.
I want forgiveness.
I want wholeness and healing.
Yet fear is blocking my way.
My hand is on the doorknob
and it won’t turn.

Obedience demands that I take the step.
Love demands obedience.
So what do I do?
I stand here,
at a precipice of faith,
and step out-
trusting in You to catch me.

My old life,
my old habits,
they hold nothing for me.
I turn away,
never looking back.
I will not be a pillar of salt.
I turn to you.

This journey is one of fiath,
and there have been
tears,
sorrow,
joy,
anger,
and hope.

You promised to walk with me.
“Yea though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for thou art with me.”

I choose life,
I choose love,
I choose hope. . .
I choose Christ.
Leave the donut for someone else.

---------

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 5

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy from Mom's Toolbox.




Reading: John 5

Scripture:  John 5: 39-40




39 You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me to have life.


Observations:


Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and Saducees -- the religious leaders of the time.
But the words still ring true today.

If any of us relies too much on the Scriptures, and forgets the message of the Savior, and the person of Jesus Christ, then we are missing the point.

Application:


Let my studying of the Scriptures always be to learn more about you, to deepen my relationship with you.

Prayer:


Father God,

May I never lose sight of who You are.
May the focus be always on deepening the relationship,  and not just increasing my knowledge.

Thank you so much for.....
everything.
You are too much to comprehend.
I am filled with wonder, awestruck wonder, at the mention of your name.  (Revelation Song)

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 4

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy from Mom's Toolbox.

Reading:  John 4

Scripture:  John 4: 13 -14


13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Observations:


Living water.
Never thirst again.
Jesus is making quite the claim here.

Application:


I feel the conviction.
I have tasted the Living Water.
I have  had my thirst quenched in such a way.

And even now, with a consistent discipline in the Word, and spending time with You, I am not experiencing that same thirst quenching, soul filling satisfaction.  Well --- I am, but not to the same degree that I remember.


Show me, Lord....
What am I missing?
What am I not doing?

The time that I remember truly feeling like I was feeding on You was when I was dealing with my physical body, and the god that is my stomach.  And the conviction that I am feeling at this realization is a bit uncomfortable.

Okay Lord.
I am trusting you to show me the plan, to show me the book or study that you want me to use.

Made to Crave?
The Lord's Table?

My own topical study on the subject?

Lord, reveal to me what you want me to do.
I am ready for a change.

Prayer:


Lord,
Show me the path you want me to take.
There are lots of resources out there, and some I already own.
Help me to be a good steward, and to pray and wait for you to reveal what you want me to do before I buy a new book (or 5).

Lord, if self-control is a fruit of the Spirit....
then I am in sin.
Please forgive me.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 3

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.
-------------------------




Reading:  John 3

Scripture:  John 3 : 12

12 I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?

Observations:

Jesus is talking to Nicodemus, who is trying to wrap his head around the concept of being born again.

Another observation: Jesus starts every response to Nicodemus with, "I tell you the truth."  (Or an equivalent, based on translations.)

Application:


I knew that this was the verse that God was showing me, but I didn't understand why. It was something I would have taken notes on in a Bible study, but I didn't know how to apply it to my life.

So, I dutifully set my timer (something I have been pretty lax about) for five minutes, and just listened.
And then I understood.

I am a teacher. I have 100 band students ranging in age from 5th grade through 12th grade.
What I felt in my heart was the Lord re-affirming to me my callings --- both as a teacher, and now as a missionary of sorts in the same town.  I have wrestled with how the two roles were supposed to interact. What I heard today was that the two callings are separate.  But I am the same.  The same crazy, wild about Jesus, singing lady will be teaching in the schools, as well as starting a church plant.  The same lady will be grocery shopping in the tiny, overcrowded grocery store, taking the boys to the playground.

My focus at school is earthly things.  The nuts and bolts of reading music. Playing an instrument.  Keeping commitments.  Being a part of a team.  Believing in yourself. Dedication.  Focus on one thing, as part of a whole thing, at the same time.

Because I am me, living out my faith in the open, the Lord has opened doors with students who already have faith, and we have been able to discuss spiritual things.

Because I am His, he has given me discernment at times to know who is hurting and needs prayer.

My focus in my community is the people.  To interact with all with the love of Christ.  To let the light that is within me, shine...  Even when dealing with a disobedient almost 5 year old, and a hungry 15 month old.  Even when dealing with people who are only here for a few weeks and spend the whole time complaining.  Even when I have nothing left to give.  My job is not about my strength.  It is about letting Jesus loves these people through me.


So while the application doesn't really seem to really have much to do with John 3:12, it is the verse He used to answer, and lay to rest an internal struggle.


Prayer:

Wow, Lord.
Thank you for giving me the extra time this morning before almost 5 year old wakes up to hear from you so clearly.

I can feel you reassuring, reaffirming.  To keep doing what I am already doing.
You brought to mind the face of a precious colleague, and you showed me that I am already letting you love through me at school.  And then you brought to mind another scenario that I still need to work on. Please forgive me for being part of some of the gossip.  Help me to withstand, and to remove myself when necessary.

Thank you for the ways that you are preparing me for ministry-- or life in general, as I am beginning to see it.

I am humbled by your love. I am completely overwhelmed.

Amen.

Blogging through the #Gospels: John 1

Blogging through the Gospels with Amy, from Mom's Toolbox.






Reading:  John 1

Scripture:  John 1:10


10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.

Observations:


In Jesus' time it was a case of not looking beyond the surface.
He was an ordinary man.
Isaiah tells us there was nothing about His form that would clue us in to His greatness -- nothing that would even warrant a second glance.

If you never heard Him speak, you might never know.
And even those who did hear Him speak -- they were quick to explain away the incredible.

In our time, with the benefit of historical accounts and the full canon of Scriptures, it is no longer a case of "not recognizing" a Savior.

It is a rejection of that Savior, and everything that He stands for.

Humanity worships the Earth, and not the ONE who created it.
Humanity worships industry, and commerce, and not the ONE who designed it all.
Humanity worships human strength, human emotion.... all the while denying the CREATOR.

Without a Creator:
There are no absolutes.
There is no truth.
Moral relativism makes sense.
There is no hope.
Life is an accident of molecular combustion.

With a Creator:

Each person has a unique purpose.
There is truth.
There is hope.
There are absolutes --- right, wrong.
There is LOVE.
Before the foundation of the Earth, we were known by God.


Application:



It is more than a case of mistaken identity -- of not seeing the deity and recognizing the Holy and Perfect.
It is rejection of the Christ, and all that He stands for.

Help me to live the truth, and paint an accurate picture of the love that you have for your creation.

If I had not felt your love that Sunday morning, I would still be in chains.
Because it does not makes sense.
It does not compute.

But.... your love is better than anything that this world has to offer.
And the amazing thing, is that in choosing you, I have been given that which I held dear.

You didn't just call me-- a sensitive, funny girl, and then decide to use me where you have planted me.
You created me to be the sensitive, funny girl.  And then you waited...
for me to choose You.


Prayer:


Lord.
I am inadequate to be sharing truth.

I pray that you would give me the words to share with those that you put in my path.
Give me the heart, the compassion, the words, and the wisdom.

And most of all -- you have not given me a spirit of fear. So help me be brave, and bold when needed.

Your love is amazing, and I hope that my life reflects your awesome love.

Amen.