Unexpected Road Trip (cross posted from....)

We are an Apple family.
We love the products.  We don't necessarily like the way that they update and upgrade ALL. THE. TIME. and how exclusive they are, but we love our MacBooks, and our iPods and.... yeah.

On Saturday night the charger for our MacBooks died.  No matter what outlet we tried, and even after visiting the support site and doing all the troubleshooting steps, Nada.  My school laptop was dead, and our own laptop was charged, but that wouldn't last long.

Therefore, we planned a quick little trip into Boothbay so that I could pick up the charger for my school laptop.  Once we got there,  I tested out the charger, and surprisingly enough, it worked. *facepalm*
Rather than get annoyed, we have learned that there is a reason for all things.  There must have been a reason for our spontaneous trip into Boothbay.

While we did not see anyone, or find the perfect house, we did have a lovely time, and did feel the sense that God is TRULY calling us there.  It was a beautiful day.

At one point, I remembered a word of prophesy that Randy and I had received shortly after we met.  I was leading worship at a friends church for a monthly worship and prayer evening.  We had been together only a couple of weeks.  One of the pastors of the church came over to us during the prayer portion and proclaimed that he had a "word" for us from the Lord.  "You (looking at Randy) will bring the people to Christ, and your (looking at me) music will be what draws them in."

Whoa.
At that time, I was leading worship for the Youth Group that Randy was leading.  That was the whole premise of our meeting each other! ( He needed a musician.  Ended up with a fiance.  Weird.  :)  )
 So naturally, we assumed that the word was applying to our work with the youth.  However, since the Lord brought it to my mind again, and because it is resonating with us again so strongly, we feel that it was REALLY about this new chapter of our lives.

The Lord keeps confirming, and confirming to us what He is preparing to do.  We are so excited, scared, and completely humbled!  But let me tell you -- unexpected road trips will will never be looked at the same way again!




Follow our journey into planting a church in Boothbay Harbor at Exodus in Real Life!

Thoughts on Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 6: 4 - 7  (NIV)

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 11: 18 -21 (NIV)

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Deuteronomy 11: 22 - 25

If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow - to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him- then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you.  Every place where you set your foot will be yours: Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the Euphrates River to the western sea.  No mam will be able to stand agains you.  The LORD your God, as he promised you, will put the terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go.

Deuteronomy 11: 26 - 28

See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse -- the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God  and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known.





-------
Again, I am so struck with the HOLINESS of Our God.  I am just in awe of Him.

The more that I read, the more I see the beautiful evidence of grace all the way through the Old Testament.  There are also examples that I definitely can see leading to confusion for those who don't know His heart.  For an example:

Solomon.  He was BRILLIANT. Accomplished more for the Kingdom of God than his father, David, and was wise and just.

However, in Deuteronomy 17: 17 it says, "17 He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold."


Solomon had HUNDREDS of wives and more than that of concubines!  He DEFINITELY amassed large amounts of silver gold -- he was by far the richest man that Israel had ever seen.  Even though he was BLATANTLY violating the decrees of God, in His grace, He still used Solomon.  Solomon was still the Anointed of the Lord.  Wow.  


The LAW is black and white, but the grace of God reveals the HEART of God.


The other confusing section that reveals the HEART of God is in Deuteronomy 21.

15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love.17 He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father's strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.

God  made it clear that a man is to have ONE wife, it seems like it would be more fitting to REMIND them of the law.  However, in providing for the unloved wife and her children, He is showing grace and His heart of love.  I find it to be so beautiful, but at first glance I was just annoyed.  Upon further prayer, and consideration, I can see how it is intended, and then how it is misinterpreted by a world that doesn't really want to know the Truth at all.

Why Every Believer Should Read the Old Testament

I am reading the Bible in 90 Days with my Mom and Dad.  This is just so special to me, because for years they have thought I was a little bit strange with my assertions that I "felt God was leading" us in certain directions.

The first week took us through Genesis and Exodus.  I was overwhelmed with the sense of gratitude that I can approach my heavenly Father whenever and however I want.  In the old testament, a high Priest, wearing special clothing and accessories, after having been ceremonially cleaned, was the only one who could intercede on behalf of the people.  When I am battling my flesh, and I need to confess, my Savior is only a breath away.    I have access to unspeakable intimacy with the Creator of the Universe.  How is it, then, that I am NOT LIVING MY LIFE with more reverence, and awe?

That key question was the prevailing thought that has been in my mind since beginning this journey through the entire Word of God.

 I am hoping to retain a sense of majesty, wonder and awe, that the same God who is Holy and Awesome and Created the Earth and all that is in it, is the same one that orders my steps, and sustains me every day.  I am so flawed... I am so humbled.

Jeremy Camp, "Lay Down My Pride"

Every single word I say
You know it before I speak
You know every thought
The deepest part of me


You draw me closer than I see
Your presence is every thing I need to be
The child that you've created me to be
I'm ready now to see it your way


I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm thru ignoring you now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride


I was faced with passing time
But I knew the choice was mine
To finally come to you
And give you all control
I've wandered miles to find my way
And then you revealed this simple faith
I know that you can see the secrets of my soul


The cross the blood you shed for me
Your back was ripped and bruised
So I can know your love
I kneel, I bow to you, my King.






-Jeremy Camp






This song says it all. 
I am fighting a battle, and I am tired of losing because I am not fighting with the power of the Holy Spirit.  I am tired of making my life a mockery of everything that Jesus has done for me.

Let me life make His sacrifice count.  No more do I want my life to say Jesus PLUS this cookie.  Jesus PLUS this gadget.  Jesus is THE ONLY SOURCE of my fulfillment.  


Lord,


I am broken before you.
I am tired of living a powerless life.
I am tired of knowing what I could be having in Your presence, but then giving in to my flesh at nearly every turn.


Help me to SEE with discernment the battle lines that are drawn behind EVERY choice I make.  Help me to be more aware of the spiritual implications of every decision set before me.


Lord. 
Help me.
I want to choose YOU.
All the time.
Every time.


Help me.


I choose You.


I choose you.

Thirsty Thursday (borrowed from H Love)

April at Mommy's Fit for the King posted a lovely devotional today in answer to a challenge of her pastor to take the love verses and commands seriously.  It was a great and inspiring post!

H Love is starting up a "Thirsty Thursday" series to focus on matters of the heart.  It is going to start next week and I am SO excited!

I would love to include links to other devotional blog posts, so let me know if you have one -- or, since I don't think anyone is reading this, yet ( !), I will just post it if I do!

Honesty (episode 1)

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts. - Psalm 51:6, NKJV

Lord, I have felt the gentle reprimand when I am caught in gossip, and when I am railing and ranting a negative diatribe inside my head. Such is the condition of my heart. I feel the calming breath after an outburst of impatience with my 4 year old chatterbox.

Thank you for not giving up on me... I deserve to have been abandoned long ago. I have hardly been faithful. I have not invested the time or effort in this relationship. I totally have taken You for granted. Please forgive me.

Forgive me for turning to food, the internet, and whatever else took your rightful place in the throne of my heart.

Thank you for the gentleness that leads to repentance, and doesn't condemn.  Thank you for helping me to make the small choices that lead to a new way of doing things. Help me continue.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.  (James 1:22)

Help me to live 1 Corinthians 13.  Love does not, love is....     And hand in hand with that are the fruits of the Spirit.   I have been wondering where my self-control concerning food went?  I just answered my question.  Self-control is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit.  When I don't call, text, write, or hang with the Holy Spirit, um... those FRUITS are... um... out of season.

I want it back.  I can feel that I am on my way back.  The overwhelming gratitude, every day, has returned.  The spontaneous praising God for everything that happens, and giving credit where credit is due is happening.  The hunger for the WORD is happening.  Now I am just craving consistency in my time in the Word.  It's a lot different with two kids -- one being an infant without a routine schedule.  I will be ready to get up at 4:30, but the baby will be up three times that night, and the last time is an hour at 3AM.   The zombie that is this tired Mommy opts for a little more sleep to make up for it.

Right now, both of the boys are asleep upstairs, and I am having time to complete a thought and meditate on things for the first time all evening. (That and my massive headache finally went away.)  I  love to start my day with the Word, but it may not be possible.  Maybe I just need to listen to a sermon, or worship music on my way to school in the mornings.  Maybe when I get downstairs, I put some worship music on.  Hmmm.  These are definitely options.

Lord, I am so completely overwhelmed at the involvement that you have in our lives.  The fact that you want MORE is just mind boggling.  Our humanity will never be able to understand how you are capable of literally being ALL things to ALL people.  But, you are the Alpha AND Omega.  I praise you for creation.  For the beautiful trees that grow tall and strong, and pierce the winter sky.  I praise you for the sunrises, sunsets and every single snowflake.  I praise you for the crisp, clean air, a perfectly balanced mixture of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, et al.  I praise you that with every single scientific detail that is discovered about this world, it points right to you, and your infinite majesty, and power, and love.


"Filled with wonder,
awestruck wonder,
at the mention of your name.
Jesus your name is power,
breath and living water,
such a marvelous mystery....

Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come,
With all creation I sing,
praise to the king of kings -
you are my everything, and I will adore you!"



(revelation song)

Yesterday: The Confession Edition

Wow.
Yesterday was such an eye opener.

In 2008 I studied and was transformed through a Bible study called "The Lord's Table." It is available, completely free, online at Setting Captives Free. It changed my life. I grew in my faith, and shrunk out of my clothes. I was truly, and honestly, the happiest that I had ever been before.

I became a mentor to other women taking the course. I loved it. I was learning from God, being used by God, and was on fire for God.

And then....
My body played tricks on me. I was convinced that I was pregnant for months. I finally accepted the truth (after blood work and all sorts of negative tests), but the damage had already been done. I had let my mind believe that if I didn't eat I would get sick, or light headed, or weak, and I lost control and lost hold of the foundational truths that had changed my life a short time before.

By the time that I actually became pregnant again (with an ectopic pregnancy) I had gained most of the nearly 50 pounds that I had lost back.

----
Fast forward to yesterday.

I ate, and I ate, and I ate.

The only time that I was actually hungry that day was for breakfast, at 6:00 AM. The rest of the time I just kept stuffing myself full.

Why?

I KNOW that food does not satisfy. If hunger is NOT the problem, then using food is SIN. It becomes an IDOL.

I KNOW THIS.

:(
Yet I failed, repeatedly.

I have repented before my Father in Heaven, and I am relying on the Holy Spirit to help me resist the temptation.

There is so much more to say.... but my heart has to process it all first.