About Me

My name is Meredith, and I am the mother of two awesome boys; the wife of a fantastic husband; the band director for 100 students in grades 5 - 12 in a small community in Maine; and a follower of Christ. This blog is a place for me to reflect on what the Lord is teaching me.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Nursing a grudge....

Have you ever really thought about the saying "nursed a grudge?"

When you nurse a sick child, you are snuggling with them, rubbing their back, making sure they are warm enough/ cool enough.  You drop everything to make sure that they are feeling loved, supported and cared for.

When we nurse a GRUDGE, what are we doing?
Upon every remembrance of the slight that we feel has been done to us, we think on it.  We dwell on it.  We get a little bit irritated.  Soon we are all worked up about it again.

I have been dealing with frustration about an issue at the church we have been attending.
I desperately wanted to start teaching Stephen the songs that we will be singing each Sunday ahead of time.  I spoke with my dear friend, who happens to be on the worship team, and we had a plan that she would email me after their practice and let me know.

Well, I did receive an email.  It said that they weren't allowed to tell me what songs they were going to be doing.

Say What?

I was shocked.  And, in truth, I still am hurt, and could easily get angry about it.

But you know what?
The enemy would love to create a seed of bitterness in my heart regarding this church. After all, we believe that the Lord is revealing that they are to be our sending church when the time comes for us to become a full on fellowship.  Wouldn't it fall into that punks plans nicely if I got hurt, prideful, and resentful and that led to an ultimate break down of relationship with these people and this church??

I refuse.
Every time I start feeling that irritation, and confusion, I give it to God.  It is important that we, as potential outreach starters of this congregation, are submissive to the authority of this church.  I will respect their decisions, even when I don't understand them.  Even when my Mommy's heart hurts because I can't follow through with the plans that I had made.  I can still teach him songs.  And you know what??? I can pray for guidance in selecting the songs that I choose to teach him.  I believe that my God is capable of  revealing what will be sung on Sunday without anyone telling me anything.

Where is my faith???

Forgive me, Father, for making this about me.
Help me to see this as an opportunity for you to show off!

I love you, Lord.


The Farmer Files said...

I am sorry. It seems you wanted to do this with only the best of intentions.Could you ask your good friend why not and still submit to the authority of the church? It might avoid hurt feelings.

Meredith said...

Praise the Lord the whole thing was a misunderstanding. They thought that I wanted the actual music, which would violate their license and copyright stuff. I just wanted the list, because I have my own worship library and resources. The first man we saw when we got to church was the worship leader, and my husband (much to my chagrin at the time) felt led to speak to him about it. I felt bad, because I had reacted badly in my heart, and made a big deal about it.... But it was peaceably and happily resolved. :) I am now on the email list that the set list goes out to each week!

Thanks for the suggestion though, that would have probably been my next step!

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