About Me

My name is Meredith, and I am the mother of two awesome boys; the wife of a fantastic husband; the band director for 100 students in grades 5 - 12 in a small community in Maine; and a follower of Christ. This blog is a place for me to reflect on what the Lord is teaching me.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Morning Reflections 1/17/11

I am currently laboring through "Seeking Him," a collaborative work by Nancy Leigh Demoss and Tim Grissom. I say laboring because there are some Bible studies that I devour. (Esther, by Beth Moore... a 10 week study that I did in three, with the bulk of it completed in the one week of school vacation.) This has been a bit more difficult because of.... my pride. I hate the fact that I had let myself get so independent, and not relying on God for nearly anything.

I am so happy to say that since the new year, and the weeks prior, that has changed in my life, and I am again giving gratitude and praise and honor to my Heavenly Father. What is also so incredibly exciting is that by modeling those attitudes, my 4 year old son is praying and seeing those prayers answered. He is seeking the Lord for himself! Wow.

In the past of the lesson that I completed today, the following scriptures were listed.

Luke 12:2
Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.

Hebrews 4:13
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Then this question was asked:

In light of everything you have ever done, said, or thought, how do these verses make you feel?

My first reaction is shame, and embarrassment. So not only has he forgiven me for the horrible things that I have thought and said and done before I knew Him, he continually forgives me for the things I still do when I am not letting the Spirit guide my life, my actions and my thoughts.

So even though I haven't grumbled out loud about my husband this week (oh... um, except for that one day) I am still accountable for the thoughts, and for the state of my heart.

But then I think about the fact that not only is nothing that has already been done hidden from Him, nothing that WILL happen is unknown to Him.

He knew full well the day that He called me to Himself that I was going to be a hot mess from time to time. He created the artistic (and sensitive) temperament in me, and knew that I was going to fall flat on my face. Repeatedly.

How amazing is the love that continues to guide me, to hold me, to mold me and teach me. I am so overwhelmed that the God of the Universe would send his ONLY SON (and having two adorable boys of my own, this is HUGELY relevant for me) to come to Earth, and eventually bear MY SHAME and SINS on Himself, and die for me. And a violent, R rated death, not a gentle passing in ones sleep. We had communion yesterday at church, and I was in tears because I was so overwhelmed at the blessings of my life.

It is too incredible. I cannot intellectualize the fact that He is so intimately involved with all of humanity. But I know that it is true.

Help me, Lord, to continue to earnestly seek you. Create a hunger for your word. Create a hunger for your presence. Please, help me to die to myself, so that your love can be the only thing that is given to this world.


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